Brexit Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

…we really don’t know what we’re going to get.

I appreciate a good metaphor, simile or analogy more than your average person – I’d be a pretty rubbish English student if I didn’t – but even I am sick of seeing them used to explain Brexit.

James Landale, whose BBC article I’m basing this post on, points out that at every point in the Brexit “story”, from the initial vote to the deals being currently made, there have been ridiculous comparisons: a divorce, a golf club, a strawberry crumble…

The list is extensive and seems to get more ludicrous the further we go into negotiations. The funniest part is that they aren’t being used by the tabloids or Twitter users as ways to make it “accessible”, but by leading political figures. The EU Commission president, Jean-Claude Juncker, the French President, Emmanuel Macron, and the European Parliament’s Brexit negotiator, Guy Verhofstadt, are amongst the hordes of politicians who have turned their hand to poetry. Apparently.

On the one hand, it’s slightly worrying that the people who are making Brexit happen can’t seem to agree on what it means. They’re dancing around the subject with loose metaphors rather than clearly stating how the negotiations will pan out. It doesn’t really instil confidence in us common-folk when no one can seem to decide where we are with the Brexit situation.

On the other hand, I have been brainstorming my own metaphors, in the unlikely event that our political representatives’ creativity runs dry.

  • Shall I compare Brexit to a summer’s day? Thou art more sweat-inducing and uncomfortable.
  • Brexit is a taco, one bite can make the whole thing fall apart.
  • It’s like trying to quit the gym (sneaky little Friends reference).
  • Brexit is the sixth shot of tequila: it might have seemed like a good idea at the time but it’s really not worth the headache afterwards.
  • It’s like Britain has decided that it doesn’t want to pay for the all-you-can-eat buffet, but as they leave the restaurant, they’re still trying to pile their plate with food on their way out.
  • The boyfriend/girlfriend who dumps you but still wants to be friends.

And finally:

  • It’s like stepping on a plug or a Lego – the stupidest thing also being the most painful.

I admit, I’ve written better but they’re really not that bad compared to some of the drivel that our favourite politicians are coming out with.

Landale said it best:

Can we just agree that Brexit means Brexit and leave it at that?

Best wishes,

Siobhán


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